TMI Tuesday #157

No, I’m not going to start doing this every Tuesday (probably). This one just caught my fancy and allows me to confess some seriously odd stuff.

And no, I’m not going to link back to the TMI site.

1. Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed after a sexual experience?

Many times. Almost every time I masturbate over porn I feel guilty.

The most guilty, however, was the night I stayed in a hospital while a terminally ill (very close) member of my immediate family was dying of cancer in the next room. I fired up the laptop and wanked while watching some Andrew Blake. I’m more ashamed of the fact that I didn’t feel guilty the next day, even as I held their hand and watched them die. I appease my conscience by telling myself it was just to help me sleep on an extremely difficult day.

2. Did you ever own a fake ID?

Yes. I went out of my way to design and print a fake student card to get into clubs cheap and without being questioned about my age. When laminated they were so convincing I did a few for my mates too.

3. How often do you tell white lies? Is it with or without thinking?

Almost every day. Obviously there’s this, but I lie about lots of other stuff too. Most of it is quite calculated, but I have considered that I might have a psychologically compuslive liar. However, I contrast that with having absolute ethics – most of my mis-truths are based on an implicit intention to do the right thing or make others’ lives better. And I have rarely (almost never) knowingly broken the law in the last 20 years, and certainly nothing that could be considered to be detrimental to anyone else.

4. On a scale of 1-10, how well do you receive constructive criticism?

5. I used to be below-zero, but some things in life have made me able to be introspective and take on board criticism. I am improved for it, but could be far better.

5. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair?

Nope. I think I’d look absurd. I like a soft nest for my thick hard cock to protrude from.

Bonus: What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a “friends with benefits” relationship? How about men?

I am gaining more female friends by the day, so I hope the percentage is high. However, even amongst the bloggers I read and those that claim to want ‘fuck buddies’ I’m pretty certain that very few really could retain a detached sociopathic relationship with zero emotional attachment. Most seem to want ‘love’ and ‘the real thing’ rather than outright disengaged physical fulfillment. As I mentioned in my NSA post a while back (I’m too lazy to link to it today) the real test of NSA is the ability to meet, fuck and leave with few words and no knowledge of names, etc. I have, so far, met one woman who might be capable of that level of clinical detachment, but circumstances (and geographical distance) were against us.

I am, however, happy (some might say eager) to be proven incorrect.

HNT #12

I kind liked this shot, as I imagine it would be the view that would be enjoyed just before I slipped into her. Who ’she’ is, well… call me.

HNT is funny. I’m still undecided as to whether to do the full monty, or whether that might be crass.

Hmmmm.

Misbehaviour

I pushed her forward, and she stumbled towards the table. Her 4″ heels got the better of her, and her ankle twisted, sending her sprawling flat onto the polished wood. She turned her head, fingers spread across the smooth oak, looking like a scolded animal – a fire in her eyes, and just a hint of a smile in one corner of her mouth.

Her bottom was pushed high by the stance of her stilettos, and her back arched. The puff-ball skirt kept its shape, the structure and stuffing wedged between her and the table edge forcing the rear of it up into the air, revealing her stocking-tops and – I thought – a hint of her creamy thighs.

With two paces I was behind her, and I lifted the skirt aloft. The material was silky in my hands, but I had no time to enjoy the smooth feel of the padded hem. I folded it back over itself, her white peach of a bottom exposed to the harsh light. The g-string arched up from between her thighs, marking a dark red line between the two swells, before disappearing up into the darkness around her waist, just a hint of a few tiny sparkling jewels decorating it. Without a delay or warning, I whipped my other hand around and smacked her hard across both cheeks.

The force of the blow pushed her forwards and knocked her feet from under her. As the blood rushed to make a hand-print on her skin, I brought my palm down again, a loud crack echoing around the room. She was looking forwards now, her face turned away from me, concentrating on the pain and her own thoughts as I chastised her. She did not move.

With the fourth and fifth blows her arse had warmed from an ivory-cream to a delicate shade of rosy pink. Her thong was darkening too – the discipline clearly arousing, her juices were already flowing. So much the better.

I pulled the string aside, and began to unzip my trousers. I was stiff already, and my thick hard cock sprung out into my hand. With a stroke towards my pelvis, I rolled back my foreskin to reveal my blood-red cockhead, shiny and taut, glistening at the tip, and then pointed it at her still stinging cheeks. With my other hand on the small of her back, I pushed her flat onto the cold polished surface, and kicked her feet wider apart so she was spread good and wide for me.

Guiding my tip between her thighs, I sensed her intake of breath as my cock first touched her labia. Without pausing to let her juices lubricate my head, I pushed down on her back, pinning her to the table and thrust my hips forward, plunging my cock deep into her tight little cunt. She hissed, the air pushed out of her, winded by the surprise and the force of it.

My cock inside her, I froze, and then leant over her, slipping my hands under her arms, cupping her chest, and pulling her up to me. In the mirror across the room, I could see her face, waiting to see what would come next, desperate for me to fuck her properly. Her hands were splayed in front of her, and all my weight bore down on her, holding my pelvis tight to her arse, keeping my cock buried deep into her as she wriggled. I slipped my fingers into her blouse and pulled it apart, the buttons straining at their threads.

“I told you”, I hissed directly into her ear, “what to wear. Why did you ignore me?”

She shook her head. “I thought…”

“Don’t think!” I cut her off. “You are mine. I tell… you do. I said no underwear”, and yanked the blouse open. Buttons pinged across the table, clattering away from us before dropping over the precipice and onto the floor.

My fingers slipped into the cups of her bra, and I pulled it down hard, the straps stretching and then flipping off her shoulder. “No bra. I won’t tell you next time.”, as I clamped my fingers around her nipples and pulled and twisted them hard. She winced and sighed simultaneously, eyes closed.

I drew back my pelvis, feeling her cunt muscles twitch around my cock with the sudden movement, and then drove it back into her, lifting myself up onto my toes and burying myself up to the hilt. Squeezing and kneading her breasts roughly, I began to stroke in and out of her, fucking her harder and harder.

I pushed her back down to the table, and rammed her cunt faster and faster, her chest flat against the wood and squashed as she took every inch of me.

When I came, the first stream filled her with heat and wetness, and then I slipped out of her, my spurts of sticky white come landing on her bottom, running down between her cheeks, and over her creamy lips. I slippd into her again, pushing my spunk into her pussy, as it began to froth with my slow easy strokes.

I stepped back and pulled her towards me, pushing her down onto her knees as she turned to face me. She knew what to do without question this time, and as she squatted, our mixed juices seeping out and down her thighs, she took the base of my cock in the circle of her fingers and slipped it into her mouth. My frothy come dripped down her chin and onto her tits as I looked down at her. She didn’t look up, but concentrated on my shaft sucking and licking my length, blouse torn and hanging open, bra down around her waist.

Still plenty of work to do, but she was coming on in leaps and bounds.

Meme

I normally avoid memes, but I kinda liked this one when I saw it on B’s blog (see sidebar). Plus I’ve never really given any details about myself, so maybe this will tell you more.

The bold bits are true/apply: Read the ones that don’t apply, as they say as much about me as the ones that do.

Appearance:
- I am 5′4 or shorter.
- I think I’m ugly.
- I have many scars.
- I tan easily.
- I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
- I have a tattoo.
- I am self-conscious about my appearance.
- I have/I’ve had braces.
- I wear glasses.
- I’d get/have gotten plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
- I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
- I have had more than 2 piercings.
- I have had piercings in places besides my ears.
- I have freckles.

Family/Home Life:
- I’ve sworn at my parents.
- I’ve run away from home.
- I’ve been kicked out of the house.
- My biological parents are together.
- I have a sibling less than one year old.
- I want to have kids someday.
- I have children.
- I’ve lost a child.

Embarrassment:
- I’ve slipped out a “LOL” in a spoken conversation.
- Disney movies still make me cry.
- I’ve snorted while laughing.
- I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
- I’ve glued my hand to something.
- I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
- I’ve had my trousers rip in public.

Health:
- I was born with a disease/impairment.
- I’ve had stitches.
- I’ve broken a bone. Many times, some more than once
- I’ve had my tonsils removed.
- I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
- I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
- I’ve had serious surgery
- I’ve had chicken pox.

Travelling:
- I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day. Actually, I’ve driven 1,000 miles in 24 hours, on at least 2 occasions.
- I’ve been on a plane.
- I’ve been to Canada.
- I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
- I’ve been to Japan.
- I’ve been to Europe.
- I’ve been to the US
- I’ve been to Africa.

Experiences:
- I’ve been lost in my city.
- I’ve seen a shooting star.
- I’ve wished on a shooting star.
- I’ve seen a meteor shower.
- I’ve gone out in public in my pyjamas.
- I’ve pushed all the buttons in a lift.
- I’ve been to a casino.
- I’ve been skydiving.
- I’ve gone skinny dipping.
- I’ve played spin the bottle.
- I’ve crashed a car.
- I’ve been skiing.
- I’ve been in a play.
- I’ve met someone in person from the Internet.
- I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
- I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
- I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
- I’ve played chicken.
- I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
- I’ve eaten Sushi.
- I’ve been snowboarding.

Relationships:
- I’m single.
- I’m in a relationship.
- I’m available.
- I’m engaged
- I’m married.
- I’ve gone on a blind date.
- I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper.
- I have a fear of abandonment.
- I’ve been divorced.
- I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
- I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
- I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
- I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality:
- I’ve had a crush on someone of the same gender.
- I’ve kissed a member of the same gender. Properly, with tongues.
- I’ve had sex with someone of the opposite gender.
- I’ve had sex with someone of the same gender.
- I’ve had sex with more than one person at the same time.
- I am a cuddler.
- I’ve been kissed in the rain.
- I’ve had sex outdoors.
- I’ve had sex on a train. Twice, in two different countries, with two different people.
- I’ve had sex on a plane
- I’ve hugged a stranger.
- I have kissed a stranger.
- I have had sex with a stranger.

Honesty/Crime:
- I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t. Just about every day.
- I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t. see above
- I have lied to my parents about where I am.
- I am keeping a secret from the world.
- I’ve cheated while playing a game.
- I’ve cheated on a test.
- I’ve driven through a red light
- I’ve witnessed a crime.
- I’ve been in a fist fight.
- I’ve been arrested.
- I’ve shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol:
- I’ve consumed alcohol.
- I smoke cigarettes.
- I smoke pot.
- I regularly drink.
- I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
- I’ve taken cough medicine when i wasn’t sick.
- I’ve done hard drugs.
- I’ve been addicted to an illegal substance.
- I can’t swallow pills.
- I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.

Mental health:
- I have been diagnosed with depression.
- I shut others out when I’m depressed.
- I take anti-depressants.
- I have had an eating disorder.
- I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
- I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
- I’m addicted to self harm.
- I’ve woken up crying.

Death:
- I’m afraid of dying.
- I hate funerals.
- I’ve seen someone dying.
- I have attempted suicide.
- Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
- Someone close to me has committed suicide.

Random:
- I can sing well.
- I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
- I open up to others too easily.
- I watch the news.
- I don’t kill bugs.
- I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for sake of being able to rhyme.
- I swear regularly.
- I am a morning person.
- I paid for my mobile phone ring tone.
- I’m a snob about grammar.
- I am a sports fanatic.
- I play with my hair.
- I have/had “x”s in my screen name.
- I love being neat.
- I love Spam.
- I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
- I bake well.
- I don’t know how to shoot a gun.
- I am in love with love.
- I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
- I laugh at my own jokes.
- I eat fast food weekly.
- I believe in ghosts.
- I am online 24/7
- I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
- I am really ticklish.
- I love white chocolate.
- I bite my nails.
- I play video games.
- I’m good at remembering faces.
- I’m good at remembering names.
- I’m good at remembering dates.
- I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.