Yes… I agree with you, M… the sex-blogosphere can be a wonderful place to learn that one is not abnormal, not alone in one’s desires and cravings.

“I just assumed it was all about pleasing the man, that men just wanted a good fucking.”

Cultural the norm, and statistically probably true.

But there are many of us who MUCH prefer a good fucking when our partners are enjoying it too. Who enjoy GIVING as much as RECEIVING.

After all, playing tennis by yourself is not much fun.

Life needs Yin and Yang.

The Counselor

However, since we live in a male dominated culture, our cultural expectation is that women suck cock to please men and men (rarely) lick pussy.

Both can be nice, to the giver and the receiver.

But they are so much better when the pleasure is mutual (i.e. I get more pleasure from licking a women’s pussy if she is enjoying it, and I get much more pleasure from having my cock sucked if she WANTS to suck my cock.) And vice versa for her.

The Counselor

I agree with you about the beneficial effects and knowledge to be gained out here in sex blog land. I have also experienced what you have described except from the opposite perspective. I just assumed it was all about pleasing the man, that men just wanted a good fucking, since that is what I had experienced. And I wasn’t really that into sex, as a result. I didn’t know that there were men out there who loved nothing more than having their face between a woman’s legs and that on many occasions, they didn’t want or need anything more. This was astonishing to me. In fact, I had given up even thinking or fantasizing about cunnilingus at all because it just never happened. I didn’t even miss it because it just never really existed for me.

But then (and here is the moral of the story) once I started seeing that my experience was short-sided and limited and that a whole big old world of fun and exploration existed, I started feeling more free myself. I started seeing things from others’ points of view. I started wanting to explore and try new things. And this kind of mindset and freedom attracts the same in return, and now I know that my pleasure, his pleasure, our pleasure is all possible.

And now I want it all the time, in all forms, in all ways. Now I love fellatio and I love cunnilingus too. I love it all. But if you had known me even just 3 years ago, this would not have been the case.